Quickfire Reviews (Part 7)

Despite the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" (i.e. the fact that now studying ought to take precedence over the cinema), the appreciation of fine films must continue. Therefore:

A Long Way Down/ High Fidelity

Nick Hornby! Author of such easy going tales as About a Boy, he appears to be perfect fodder for film directors. Unfortunately these adaptations tend to be lightweight and occasionally tedious. High Fidelity seems to be a less good version of Woody Allen's Annie Hall, with our protagonist cheekily breaking the fourth wall with asides to the camera. Unfortunately, while Woody Allen managed to make his neurotic, failure of a human being Alvy Singer faintly likeable, the same cannot be said for John Cusack's Rob Gordon. I also wanted to strangle more or less the entire cast of A Long Way Down, but especially Imogen Poots (who lands firmly on the wrong side of quirky) and Pierce Brosnan (whose attempt at charm is far overshadowed by the character's inherent solipsism). But A Long Way Down at least is more watchable than High Fidelity. Rosamund Pike's character is believable and well handled, and although it's hard to believe that any of the other three would have really jumped off a building and the theme of suicide is systematically avoided, it's inappropriate sense of humour is enough to save the viewer from boredom. High Fidelity is a prolonged experience of unpleasant people doing unpleasant things, although here too are moments of comedy gold, particularly as Gordon imagines pummelling his romantic rival. But inevitably, both result in disappointment.

High Fidelity: 4/10
A Long Way Down: 6/10

Run, Lola, Run

Germans! They're great aren't they. Kant. Bismark. Angela Merkel. And Tom Tykwer. Part of the visionary trio responsible for the sublime Cloud Atlas, he directed the historical segments and composed the astoundingly beautiful music. And unfortunately, Run Lola Run is nothing like Cloud Atlas. It is full on unhinged, following a surprisingly irrelevant prologue a deranged race against time ensues, before being repeated twice over. It's essentially like Groundhog Day but less fun or Source Code but with less special effects. There seems to be some philosophical overtones, but I was marginally confused about what they were trying to convey, and by the look of it so was Tykwer. The whole thing inevitably descends into silliness. Lola's tough-as-nails boyfriend isn't worth saving from certain doom, Lola's ear piercing screams belong in comics and not supposingly groundbreaking cinema, and the self-congratulatory camera work is annoying. And for the composer of the unforgettable Atlas March, the music is really odd and very disappointing.

Rating: 6/10

The Tempest

Shakespeare! The Bard is dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century as Julie Taymor decides the sure-fire way to make his epic swansong accessible is to pile on the CGI, with a sprinkling of ominous guitars. And it's awful. Ben Wishaw's fabulous Arial is engulfed by staggeringly pointless special effects, whilst an unbelievably magnificent speech seems abrupt as our protagonists abruptly emerge from a bizarre astrological swirl. And why has Propero become Prospera? Of course, Helen Mirren does a smashing job, but surely it's more interesting if Propero is a single father burdened with the care of Miranda. And speaking of Miranda, the scenes between her and Ferdinand are nauseatingly saccharine. I spent the whole thing wishing that I was watching it at the theatre, where it would have most likely been much less patronising. I imagine Will was turning in his grave.

Rating: 4/10

Transcendence

Wally Pfister! A debut director and fledgling of Christopher Nolan who everyone thought would be a carbon copy of his mentor and then got terribly irked when it turned out he wasn't. Terrible reviews resulted. The dialogue is terrible! The tension is dissipated by a pointless prolepsis at the beginning! Complex themes are defiled because silly Pfister doesn't know what he's doing! Thankfully, these objections are more or less nonsense. The dialogue is not nearly as clumsy as it has been portrayed, nicely playing off a neo-Ludite paranoia with a utopian sense of the possibilities of technology. The cast is nothing short of fantastic: Johnny Depp is predictably charming as Will Caster, carefully balancing menace with humanity when his consciousness is uploaded to a high-tech computer. He is ably supported by an emotional Rebecca Hall, a creepy Cillian Murphy and Paul Bettany as the film's moral compass. The ending is beautifully ambiguous, encouraging us to question who is the real villain of the piece: the power hungry, technologically enhanced Depp or the Machiavellian Murphy and Kate Mara's band of well meaning terrorists?

Rating: 7/10

Red Lights

God! Sigourney Weaver, fresh from being got by aliens, leads a band of fellow atheists (Cillian Murphy and Elizabeth Olsen) in an attempt to disprove as many mediums as possible, particularly the villainous Simon Silver (Robert DeNiro). The set-up seems to be your average supernatural thriller, but surprisingly something marginally more high brow ensues. Murphy manages to be downtrodden and paranoid, far away from the cold fish in Transcendence, whilst Robert DeNiro is magnificently menacing. Sigourney Weaver meanwhile wrestles with existential dilemmas, and Elizabeth Olsen's character is tragically underdeveloped, as she really is rather wonderful (if in doubt, watch Silent House or Martha Marcy May Marlene). As in Transcendence, there is a fabulous shock ending, and the whole affair is rather clever. The only sour note is that you feel the film comes down on the wrong side of the theist/atheist divide, but it's hard to pretend that personal prejudices aren't largely responsible for this minor niggle.

Rating: 8/10

Roland: The Marxist DJ

Picture the scene. Roland, a trendy, swagalicious DJ is booked to play a prestigious gathering, where some funky tunes are required to soundtrack the various acts of debauchery set to occur. The night before, Roland chooses an outfit, involving a baseball cap that almost certainly will not be worn the right way round, and a fluorescent green hoodie that ought to be tried for crimes against humanity. But lo and behold, Roland has neglected to prepare any music for the gathering. And what's more, his principles dictate that he can't buy any, as he happens to be a Marxist. Therefore, his funds would find their way into the hands of the greedy bourgeoisie, be it the managing director of HMV or some oily man in a three piece suit at the record company. It doesn't bear thinking about! If only Roland could somehow construct a playlist that didn't involve spending any money. Sadly, he is all too aware that there is no such thing as a free lunch in an advanced capitalist society, or free LP for that matter. At this point, Roland is confronted by a blinding light, from which descended the Angel of Pop.
"Rejoice Roland, for I bring great news," began the Angel in a somewhat pretentious manner, "You have been chosen to preach to the world that some of the greatest singles in pop music can be acquired for no money at all, and perfectly legally too! Take these tablets, and upon them copy down the best playlist in the history of ears!"

Track 1: Too Close- Alex Clare
Source: iTunes Single of the Week

Roland is proud to say that he liked this bombastic opening track before it became a mainstay on Radio 1, to be often played obnoxiously loudly by obnoxious people in obnoxious places. Mr Clare oozes charisma as he recites fairly dubious reasons for breaking up with his girlfriend, before he rather clumsily drops the bass. As he fumbles around on the floor trying to find it again, he blasts out a memorable chorus.

Track 2: No Angels- Bastille
Source: The Darker Regions of the Internet

In a move that defies all commercial sense, synth-pop sensation Bastille released two albums of innovative covers for free on the internet, before promptly deleting all links to them. Fortunately, after many hours of careful searching, Roland managed to recover Other People's Heartache Part II, Part I being seemingly lost forever. Again this song seems to have become exceedingly popular, and neither Roland nor the Angel of Pop have quite worked out where people are getting it from. Nevertheless, this is a funky reworking of The XX's unbelievably dull Angels, and TLC's No Scrubs. Marrying The XX's moody instrumentals with a tune that is not drenched in angsty misery actually makes for an interesting listen. Although the tune will never leave your head. Ever.

Track 3: Homesick (Live)- Catfish and the Bottlemen
Source: Reward for Signing up to their Mailing List

Time for a bit of good old fashioned rock and roll. After a smooth, melodic verse, floppy haired lead singer Van McCann (cruel parents) goes full throttle on his domestic problems. Roland was one of the few people to attend one of their concerts, where they supported the equally esoteric Little Comets. Bizarrely the band T-Shirts are emblazoned with a giant sperm (McCann patiently explains that he was a test tube baby), so now whenever Roland has sex he can hear Catfish and the Bottlemen playing in his head. He has considered taking this to a psychiatrist, but feels a little embarrassed....

Track 4: Snowflake- Kate Bush
Source: Starbucks Download of the Week

After a frantic slice of rock and roll, the pace slows down dramatically as pop royalty takes centre stage. Taken from her 2011 comeback album Fifty Words for Snow, Snowflake is perhaps not the most obvious single. It's hypnotically repetitive, accompanied only by a haunting piano part and it's a bit long. When Roland first heard it, he was ashamed to say that he fell asleep halfway through, before being unceremoniously nudged awake by the Angel of Pop and charged with a lack of respect for musical Gods. Nevertheless, Roland does find the song growing on him, and on repeated listens it's slightly less nauseating that "no, I don't no scrubs, scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me!". Indeed, the Angel of Pop insists that the fascinating metaphor of the unique snowflake about to be consumed by the snowfall in the forest and the characterisation in Bush's voice make this a different standard of pop music. Roland looks confused and nods in a docile fashion.

Track 5: Tremors- SOHN
Source: iTunes Single of the Week

Time for a return to synth pop, but unlike Alex Clare's bombastic bass lines, SOHN's creates an understated and haunting atmosphere. His delicate voice sours over the melodious synths, insisting that "if you're thinking of letting me go then it's time that you do". Moody and beautiful stuff.

Track 6: Laughter Lines- Bastille
Source: iTunes Single of the Week

The Angel of Pop does enjoy a bit of Dan Smith and his reliable indie pop. This track wasn't on the band's debut Bad Blood, but easily stands out as one of their best tracks. Highlights include flamboyant violin flourishes and a splendid moment of a cappella harmony. And it's happy, which is quite something compared to their usual themes of natural disasters (Pompeii), pyromania (Things We Lost in the Fire) and dead teenage girls (Laura Palmer).

Track 7: The Conversation- Texas
Source: Starbucks Download of the Week

The Angel of Pop is acutely aware that Roland's playlist is in danger of suffering a mid-album flop, a fate surely much worse than death. To prevent this happening, some seriously stylish pop is needed, and thankfully Texas is on hand to provide it. The funk is laid down earlier on with a seriously cool guitar intro, before Texas's clipped vocals complete the irresistible soundscape. If you're foot isn't tapping, it needs amputating.

Track 8: Skin- Rae Morris
Source: Her Website

Who? you may ask. Well, a sort of middle ground between the clean cut naivety of Birdy and the swagger of Lorde. Morris's mellow voice sails in above some pristine tinkling sounds, before admitting that "we break the ruuuules and listen to our own skin". Roland also listens to his skin, which occasionally tells him that washing might be a good idea. The Angel of Pop bemoans his simplicity.

Track 9: History Book- Dry the River
Source: iTunes Single of the Week

A louder, and altogether trendier, version of Mumford and Sons, Dry the River have better vocals, less banjos and choruses with more bight. In one of their quieter songs, singer Peter Liddle gets all nostalgic about a past relationship with some bittersweet guitars and reflective lyrics, before going full on pastoral in a euphoric climax: "our sweetness sings in the pasture/ we throw ourselves on the mercy of the Earth"). Bravely second guessing expectations for a simple strophic songs, History Book is one of the surprise hits from an incredibly memorable album, and therefore deserves its place on the Marxist playlist.

Track 10: One Day More- Les Miserables
Source: Starbucks Download of the Week

Like all good things, and fortunately most bad things, the Marxist playlist must come to an end. Having been deprived of anything to dance to pretty much throughout the playlist, the final blow comes in the form of musical theatre. It's the climatic moment of the French epic: Jon Valjean thinks his cover is blow, Marius and Cosette face the prospect of separation, and Javert is planning to brutally crush the coming revolution. What results is a melodramatic sing off. Slightly more manly than West Side Story, but admittedly not by much.

And so Roland the Marxist DJ mounts his skateboard and goes charging towards the venue of the hedonistic party, iPod harboured safely in the pocket of his jeans, which threaten to fall round his ankles. The guests are blissfully unaware of what horrors await them...